Kidynamite

do i give people the eebeejeebies ?

Flame

“All strong emotions fan the flame of creation”-Bill Ray

We are in search of an eternal flame.

In between secret glances and secret smiles dawns a spark. Suddenly the butterflies are revived, their wings flutter as it tickles your tummy. Your stomach does a million revolutions. Your head is light, your thoughts afloat. Everything seems a soft blur but in a good way. In an instance, anything floats your boat. You smile. He smiles. Just beautiful.

Several occurance of the spark initiates an unexpected combustion. From the little things that attracts you to one another to the major turn off moments. It all feeds the flame.

Such an intricate mesh of passion and strong emotions. Of matters that elevates the soul or ones that tears you apart. Everything you do and doing everything to keep, that keeps, the inferno alive.

Sometime later, the source of the fire diminishes slowly. The bonfire starts to flicker..

Which of the limited options do you pick? To put out the flame with your bucket of faithless thoughts and selfish wishes or to fight on. Lose all hope and succumb to the elements?

Believing in everything coming to an end. Not wanting to be the abandoned. A heart once ablazed now boils down to nothing but ashes. Ashes of has-beens, memories soon to be dead, to be missed and only missed. Once shared, now exclusively kept.

Once upon a time, we were in search of an eternal flame.

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holy mols i love to write.

R-e-s-p-e-c-t

Up til now, i have close to zero tolerance to adults who have no respect for young adults, teens or kids alike. Who are they to say they dont have to return the respect we give them? Ok, so in it is only right we cannot go against them rudely and stuff, so does that mean they can take advantage of us or treat us any lower than them?

How does them being senior be any reason to show less respect? Shouldnt they be much wiser? Urgh, come on. We younger generations may not be as equally wise whatsoever but in no way are you superior in terms of respect.

RESPECT is mutual.

Humans will be humans. Mistakes are inevitable. I shall give you the benefit of the doubt dear receptionist and security guard. I hate it when adults use their age as defence and claim superiority.

sick ok. sick.

I’m sick in and out, up and down. Mind, body and soul. Cold towel on me forehead please~

Just a thought..

It’s not always about you. Putting others before ourselves. We all know this. Some choose to acknowledge, some neglect. Some fall in the greys of knowing but fail to recall. Some just have no idea how to go about doing it and in their believe of righteous doing, THINKS they have chosen the right path.

I’ve given my all.

Just because we’ve done all we can for them does not mean we’ve really done something for the other party. Especially if you’re doing it unknowingly. (In this case, the other party has no clue of your so called acts to benefit them or both whotsoever.) Is it not part of selfish act ? We simply decided we’ve given our all, that we’re doing something that benefits them when really, we didnt give them a chance to respond. We decide it on our own account. How does the other person play a part here?

We’ve worked hard for them, thats what we think. When in actual fact, it was just all for our own benefit. Its US again, we think of first. The reason we set out to give it a shot, or to us think that we’re not gonna give up for them, was only to prove ourselves right of an initial decision/thought.

Of course we’ll go all defensive and say, but in the end its our happiness that counts. Sure.. so much for thinking of others.

My rants are hard to understand. All i have to say is, wth wth wth and straight up middle finger to the stupid things we fall victim to.

Sometimes i wish the long showers ive recently taken literally clears all filth inside us.

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OMG BTW GO AND WATCH

‘CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS’

esp in 3D its the best. Seriously i laughed so hard i got myself a sorethroat. I did my best to overcome temptation of holding my hands out to touch what was virtually in front of me. The snow flakes, stars and bits of confetti~

Imagine you were watching a movie and out of nowhere see a silhoutte of 2 arms trying to catch something that we all know isnt there. FINE, so i did it in SPY KIDS 3D and apparently my primary school classmate was sitting at the back with her family. After the movie when i bumped into her, she commented on some idiot who was raising their arms like trying to touch the lava.

i’m a chicken, uh oh.

Somewhere only we know.

Please save me.

6 Things. (the other 2 are just side notes)

1. Flinda, random breakfast at 4am in the morning was the one and only highlight of my day and will be, for sure, my week. Thank you dear friend. Again, i sing you da you da best. Btw, hi. hi. hi.
2. Ever felt inferior + not taken seriously + out of place= big time frustrated & zoning out? Things dont always go the way we want and some things are beyond our control. Today, i’m reminded that. Also, there are just some things you know you are not meant to do. Limitations, thorough analysis and calculations - you make me feel like a petty bitch. Thank you for making me appreciate anything philosophical, literature based and the arts.
3. I need a new goal and new perspective of my..new environment.
4. Thanks Tiara for being my shoulder to cry/lean/sleep&drool on. Thanks Birdnerd for the phone and allowing me to be mean to you. Even if you dont, you know i wont change that and so you are forced to welcome me for the sake of me feeling contended. You know i’m self centred, esp towards you.
5. I am emo. I dont jump around, have dye on my hair and polish on my nails(dengdedengdedeng). I wear tight stuff and black hoodie and potray a negative attitude problem. Im so in a black abyss, and its so tight i cant breathe. OK no seriously, i’ve just been very zoned out and not myself.
6. Please dont plan a date meant to romantically intertwine and swoon me. I am not emotionally available. You wont be the last person on my mind before i sleep, you wont be the name nor the face that often visits my mind, your words will not be echoing in my thoughts, it wont be your name i’ll be shouting in bed. Hence when i agree on a date, i do not promise a follow up on professing my feelings for you if any. Well maybe something along the lines of, “Sorry, you dont make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time” . Rejection line: Let’s be friends. Ooh, harsh.
7. I’m starting to deeply appreciate the camaraderie in E35H. I’m just being bias, close minded and selective here. Sorry present class, if ever you come by. Its only normal, no?
8. OH OH, ” One night stands” and sex is not the same thing.

As you can probably tell, i’ve high potential to be uncontrollably crying my face out and screaming my head off, throwing things around and ending my brat-like frenzy by rocking myself to sleep. Yes, this is what goes on in my head when i’m zoning out.

Irrelavent pondering: Why the heck is my family touching my ass everytime they come in the room to tell me something?

i say you da you da best.

Today, Flinda and Ben sent me home. I took out my house keys and in an effort to open the door, i tried inserting the keys in the gap. It was the elevator, MLIA.

Attempt 102490349032: FAIL

listen to, 1979 by smashing pumpkins. Is good and nostalgic.

An attempt to get my sleeping pattern right before the new semester took a wrong turn and failed big time. Thus here i am present at 5.20 in the morning in a painful and hungry blur. Feeling extremely horrible, i wont even go into details. Sigh..

feeling very vacant.

p/s thanks birdnerd for the phone.

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go watch Funny People, its is what it is. Funny people, nothing special. Still good. Just good.